Using E.Q. to Resolve Conflicts

Published March 31, 2016 by Mayrbear's Lair


This week we began a discussion on how to resolve conflicts using our emotional intelligence. Today’s post continues that discussion by taking a closer look at the role that self-motivation and balance play in the development of our emotional intelligence.

In my eBook, Ethics in the Real World, my research work helped me comprehend that self-motivation is an important factor in defining emotional intelligence. It reveals strength and/or weaknesses of a person’s character in their ability to persist even after they fail. In fact, I realized that it is a key element which helps determine whether a person will succeed or fail in achieving their goals. There are many times, for example, when self-motivation plays a key role in the decision making process. Without the influence of a team, supervisor, or mentor to assist in the motivation process, reaching goals may be difficult to attain. Self-sufficient individuals, on the other hand, rely heavily on discipline techniques like time management and goal-setting strategies to keep on track. They incorporate activities that are inspiring and uplifting. This strategy helps energize new levels of enthusiasm and focus. They also serve to help strengthen an individual’s: (a) self-concept, (b) self-esteem, (c) self-efficacy, (d) self-monitoring, and (e) emotional intelligence. People with lesser degrees of E.Q. however, tend to lack focus, discipline, and have not incorporated self-management practices. As a result, they tend to experience reduced life coping skills, and may even have difficulty functioning effectively in social settings (Berry, 2013).

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My research work also revealed that leaders in the workplace that fail to identify the source and level of a conflict, are more than likely to experience productivity reduction and motivational issues which can further impede worker participation. Recognizing the level of conflict is a good starting place to begin at. For instance, when an organizational leader faces a situation where they feel everything around them is falling apart, it is imperative they acknowledge the critical and immediate need to address the outcomes of the firm’s failures. In other words, the driving force behind this leader’s actions would require an urgent short term response with focused attention on developing a plan that will address and resolve the failed outcome issues as well as come up with better long term solutions. Furthermore, conflict in a work arena can also prevent workers from experiencing job satisfaction.

In his book, Conflict Resolution, Daniel Dana (2003) purports that good decision-making helps prevent conflict (Dana 2003). In other words, leaders who can identify the source and level of a conflict, are in a better position to use this information to address problematic issues effectively and successfully to avoid consequences like employees who lack motivation, the slowing of productivity, and most important, damaging relationships which can ultimately lead to the dissolution of an organization.


So what can leaders do to help staff members who seem to struggle with issues that prevent them from making effective decisions from a place of emotional intelligence? According to Holmes (2007) providing positive input is one strategy that can help. In fact, Holmes suggests that leaders can rely on the same methods and techniques they use in resolving their own conflicts. In other words, leaders are encouraged to use the same approach to help others as they do when they help themselves. For example, successful leaders will take positive action that will prove beneficial in their own lives and by doing so, they affirm their own self-worth. In other words, they acknowledge the positive effect that input or activity has in their life and affairs and recognize that when they in turn, extend positive energy to help others, they are affirming the same truth about that person. The same is true with respect to a group of people or specific situations (Holmes, 2007).


In conclusion, an effective way for leaders to resolve conflicts is their ability to return to a place of harmony and balance. In other words, people who are able to resolve conflicts with intellectual strategies from a place of emotional intelligence will achieve the most successful outcomes. In his motivational programs, Deepak Chopra (2016) suggests that the ultimate goal is to achieve total balance in order to live a healthy life of abundance and fulfillment. He purports this cannot be achieved with struggle, worry, or fighting (Chopra, 2016). What this means, is that with mindful awareness, effort and discipline, conflict resolutions can be achieved more successfully when done so from a mental state of total balance.

Well that’s it for this week. Until next time … stay organized!


“Making each moment count positively is all that life demands from you.” ― Edmond Mbiaka


Accelerated Learning Ebooks Fan Aug 2015 4

For more information on Media Magic’s digital publications, or to purchase any of our Business Life audio book titles, please visit’s new feature called “Author Central” to view:

 Mayr’s Author’s Page


Berry, M. A. (2013). Ethics in the Real World. USA: Kindle Direct Publishing.

Chopra, D. (2016, March 27). Total balance is natural balance. Retrieved March 27, 2016, from Shedding weight 21 day meditation challenge:

Dana, D. (2003). Conflict resolution. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Holmes, E. (2007). 365 science of mind. New York: Penguin.

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